1. |
I Never Tell The Truth
08:45
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|
you started when you were young
it was easy
it made it go away
at least for a while
at least for a day
what happened next?
i don't think
about much now
so many nights
wasted and forgot
you never wanted this
i can tell by what you do
when you're alone
the endless, and you
you think you're old now
but it's still the same
cut out books hidden with their brothers
you didn't have to hide from me
but you wanted to
but i let you
oh
you're sitting here
across from me
you're exactly what you
never wanted to be
unbearable to be around
you make the night heavy
but i'm still here
but i'm still here
i'm the same as i was too
hiding hearts in medicine boxes or a jewel case
i never needed you
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2. |
Still Dying
09:40
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it's hard to think
i can't talk
i feel like shit
and it's my fault
when i met you
i was dying
rainwater stained concrete
like the tears on your bed
your life like a window
your life that i bled
like i stuck my hand inside
to open a lock and got cut
i have so much to hide
so much you can never know
when i dream of you
i don't see your face anymore
you're just there
a presence
you haunt me
pouring out
it's too hot to sleep
a sign in the sky
a light that shines now that you're gone
and it dies with me
i wish you back
but that spell doesn't work
when i met you
i was dying
i still am
when i dream of you
you're no longer there
but i still think about you
i look around to find you
to tell you something
so important
but i can't
when i met you
i was dying
i still am
i have a light that shines now that you're gone
and it dies with me
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3. |
It's Time
06:35
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i think there's not many stars
left
things keep falling down
maybe it's time to go
maybe it's time to leave
i don't know what i want
but i know that the way things are
i can't keep it up much longer
i don't need this anymore
but sometimes the pity felt nice
but maybe it's not needed now
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4. |
Chemical Womb
06:17
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try once
just try
you never can
you won't
a handful of pills and tissues
surround the corner of your bed
pen tubes blank paper
you forgot how to talk
you never asked for what you want
i don't see you much anymore
you've made yourself scant
weak and stupid
a handful of drawings
tucked into boxes
you made yourself awful
you forgot how to act
you never got what you need
i don't hear from you anymore
your life has been halted
cut short and made small
i can't wait to hear you say
'you've turned into someone
else, someone i don't like'
a handful of plastic trash
that you treasure like a lover
a lifetime of being nobody
and having no one
i know
i've been retreating
inward, downward
i can't feel
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5. |
Spectating
09:58
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are you
ready to go yet
don't wait
i'm not doing much
you don't have to say goodbye
are you
leaving
don't tell
me where you'll go
don't you think it's weird?
aren't you tired yet?
i am
i don't want to wake up
i don't want to see what tomorrow brings
i already know
how this movie ends
i don't want to
see it happen again
are you ready to go yet
don't you think it's weird
how for so many years
i have been passive
an observer
but how little i see
are you ready to go yet?
i let things pass me by
i don't take notice
what interest can they hold
what value?
discarded and wrong
don't you think it's weird?
aren't you tired yet?
i am
i don't want to wake up
i don't want to see what tomorrow brings
but when
we can be close
almost
makes it better
almost
i already know
how this movie ends
i know you've seen it too
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6. |
Bye
08:00
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i'll see you
tomorrow
probably
you know things come up
i'll be waiting
until you see me
i'm going to make this body
into something you don't like
into something that bothers you
i'll see you then
i'll see you tomorrow
for brightest days
the ones i hate the most
for every time i've had
so much to say
and stayed quiet
i'll see you then
i wish i felt more
i don't care
i give up
i'm sorry
but how much longer
what's the point of pain?
I’ve had my time
I’ve had my say
This sun
Won’t shine
I’ll be hard to find
When I’ve said goodbye
I’ll finally do something
Besides lie
for brightest days
the ones i hate the most
for every time i've had
so much i need
and stayed quiet
for darkest hours
the ones i knew the best
for every time i chose
this life of regret
goodbye
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Illusory Games Canberra, Australia
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