Lustform

from Something You Can Never Have by Teratophilia

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lyrics

a fire pit in my stomach
when i see you
i'm a liar a bad one you can tell
you can see it on my face when i say
it's okay
it's okay we can sharpen our knives
you looked so good sitting on the floor
i want to be someone you write letters for
one of the hearts you broke
i'll give you my wrist if i ever stray
and i might, oh
this awful heart's a curse and i'm weak i'm a whore and i hate it
lust given form and i don't want it anymore please take it
a fire pit in my stomach when i see you
i'm a liar a bad one you can tell
you can see it on my face when i say, oh
i don't need anyone else
and i don't mind if you take them from me by force
i want to be anyone else
and i hope that one day you remake me whole
so you say
'i want the taste of your blood in my mouth'
and i say
nothing i just close my eyes and wait for you
i can't wait to be undone
i can't wait i want to be unmade
i want you to kill me
i want you to take this awful heart between your teeth
i want to hang around
phantom floating for just long enough to see
a fire pit in my stomach
when i see you
i'm a liar a bad one you can tell
you can see it on my face when i say
i want you to take me
i want to hang around
phantom floating for just long enough to see
to see
you
legs folded and sitting on the floor
wearing shorts, bloodstains down to your thighs and socks
cradled head in your hands like
'i can't believe what i've done. i can't believe it's real'
tears dried on your cheeks now you're smiling through splayed hands wet knife on the floor
red handprint where you palmed the tile
an awful mess just like the love letters you once wrote
if you couldn't have my heart now you have my life
you're smoking. now you're on the phone
show them what you wrote for me
make them understand
what we had, could they ever know
could they
could you make them
could they see your words and see that that's real love
that that's why i stayed
a fire
pit in your soul
something missing that i once filled now vacant
this awful heart's a curse and i'm weak i'm a whore and i hate it
lust given form and i don't want it anymore please take it between your teeth
they're sharp and i love them they made me cry
in your hands, my viscera

credits

from Something You Can Never Have, released June 12, 2022

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